Funny Jokes | Funny Jokes About Blondes

Question: Why do blondes wear big hoop earrings when they go on a date? Answer: So they have some place to put their feet!


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Why did the blonde go to church? Cause she heard there was a guy hung like this------(jesus on the cross from hand to hand)


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How do you stop a blonde tank? Shoot the people pushing it!


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How do you drown a blonde in a submarine? You knock on the door.


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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"


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What does a blonde do when it gets cold? Sits around a candle! What does she do when it gets really cold? She lights it!


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A tall blonde and a tall brunette are stading in an elevator. A short bald man with lots of dandruff walks in, then gets off at the next floor. The brunette says, "Boy he could use some head and shoulders." The blonde says, "Hm. How do you give shoulders?"


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Why did the blonde snort Sweet-n-Low? She thought it was Diet Coke!


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Two blondes meet in Heaven. "How did you die?" the first one asks. "Oh! I died in a freezer," the second blonde replied. "So how did you die?" the second blonde asks. "Well, I suspected my husband was having an affair, so one day when I came home early from work, I looked all over the house, trying to look for the other woman because I saw that my husband was naked. When I coming upstairs from searching the basement, I slipped and broke my neck. I never got to find that woman," replied the first blonde. The second blonde then says, "If only you looked in the freezer, maybe we both might still have been alive!"


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Why did the 3 blondes jump off the building? They wanted to see if their maxi-pads really had wings!


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