Bar Jokes: Beer Troubleshooting

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless. FAULT: Glass empty. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights. FAULT: You have fallen over backward. ACTION: Have yourself latched to bar. SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts. FAULT: You have fallen forward. ACTION: See above. SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet. FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face. ACTION: Retire to rest room, practice in front of mirror. SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet. FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle. ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling. SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet. FAULT: Improper bladder control. ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about his house training. SYMPTOM: Floor blurred. FAULT: You are looking through the bottom of an empty glass. ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer. SYMPTOM: Floor moving. FAULT: You are being carried out. ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar. SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark. FAULT: Bar has closed. ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender before departure. SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures. FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations. ACTION: Cover mouth with bag. SYMPTOM: Consciousness regained without recollection of how you got there. FAULT: Probable time and/or space warp. ACTION: Ask bartender for another Beer.


Random Bar Jokes:

If You Can Make That Horse Over There Laugh You Can Have Free Drinks
An Englishman An Irishman And A Scotsman Walk Into A Bar And Each Orders A Pint Of Beer
Bob Goes Into A Cafe And Takes A Seat Near The Window
Two Pretzels Walk Into A Bar
One Night A Man With No Voice And His Friend Went To A Bar
A Biker Walks Into A Yuppie Bar
Secretaries Powell And Rumsfeld Are Sitting In A Bar
3 Bums Were Outside A Bar
These Three English Guys Are Out Drinking One Night And Decide That They Want To Have A Fight
Two Cowboys Were Sitting In A Bar When One Asked His Friend If He Had Heard Of The New Sex Position Called Rodeo
A Man Went For An Audition At A Local Club
Beer Troubleshooting
A Guy Walks Into A Bar And Sees A Sign That Reads
Two Texans Were Seated At The End Of A Bar When A Gorgeous Young Lady Sits Down
Bob And Dave Are Sat Down At A Bar When Bob Downs A Pint Then He Stands Up Pulls His Pants Down
One Day A Man Walks Into A Bar And To His Amazement He Finds A Tiny Person Playing A Tiny Piano
A Man Walks Into A Bar With His Wife
A Drunken Old Man Walked Into A Bar
A Slightly Drunk Man Walks Up To The Bartender And Says Hey Thats A Funny Looking Bird
Two Men Walked Into A Bar
A Seaman Meets A Pirate In A Bar And Talk Turns To Their Adventures On The Sea
A Man Walks Into A Bar And Orders One Shot
Every Friday Night Three Men Go To A Bar And Complain About Their Wives
A Guy Walked Into A Bar
Our Lager
3 Guys Were In A Bar And Flies Flew Into Their Drinks
There Are These 3 Vampires
A Horse Walks Into A Bar And The Bartender
A Man Walked Into A Cowboy Bar And Ordered A Beer Just As President Bush Appeared On The Television
An Irishman Is Sitting At The End Of A Bar
Theres A Guy Hes Just Drinking And Getting Drunk
There Was This Guy At A Bar Just Looking At His Drink
A Man Walks Into The Front Door Of A Bar
A Guy With A Very Small Head Was Sitting At A Bar Drinking When The Bartender Asked Him Why His Head Was So Small
What Did The Bartender Say When A Priest A Boyscout And A Blonde Walked In
I Walked Into A Bar The Other Day And Ordered A Double
Three Vampires Walk Into A Bar And Order Drinks
A Man Walks Into A Bar And Orders A Beer
An Irish Man Is Sitting In A Pub One Night When 3 Englishmen Walked In
Three Vampires Walk Into A Bar And Sit Down At A Table
This Woman Goes Into A Bar And Bets 100 Dollars That No Man Can Make Her Feel Like A Woman
Two Women Were At A Bar
Guy Walks Into A Bar And This Man Is Playing The Most Wonderful Piano He Had Ever Heard
Roy Walks Into The Front Door Of A Bar
A Man Walks Into A Bar With A Brown Paper Bag
Why Were Guys Put On This Earth?
A Bear Walks Into A Bar And Says I Want A Bourbon And
A Guy Walks In And Sits Down At A Bar
One Night A Police Officer Was Stalking Out A Particularly Rowdy Bar For Possible Violations Of The Driving-under-the-influence Laws
A Guy Runs Into His Ex-girlfriend At A Bar