Impress a Woman and a Man HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN... compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her.... HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN... show up naked, bring beer.
If a man says something in the woods and no woman hears him, is he still wrong?
Why are guys faster than girls? They have a stick shift and ball bearings!
Why do men take showers instead of baths? Pissing in the bath is disgusting.
Hallo daar test EXCITABLE: Shorts half twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts SOCIABLE: Joins friends in pissing whether he has to or not CROSS-EYED: Looks into next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed TIMID: Cannot piss if someone is watching, flushes urinal and comes back later INDIFFERENT: If all urinals being used, pisses in sink CLEVER: No hands, fixes tie, looks around and pisses on floor WORRIED: Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection FRIVOLOUS: Plays stream up, down and across urinal, tries to hit fly or bug ABSENT MINDED: Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants CHILDISH: Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble TOUGH: Bangs penis on side of urinal to dry it PATIENT: Stands very close for a long time waiting, lets it drip dry, reads with other hand EFFICIENT: Waits until he has to crap, then does both DRUNK: Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants DISGRUNTED: Stands for a while, gives up, walks away CONCEITED: Holds two inch penis like a baseball bat DESPERATE: Waits in long line, teeth clenched, pisses in pants SNEAK: Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in next stall will get blamed