A plane crashes flying over the Pacific and somehow three people survive. Dave, Brad, and Naomi. They manage to make their way to a tiny island with enough resources to live and eat. After a few years of this nature inevitably took its course (in the spirit of procreation of course) and life went on as normal, after another few years Naomi spoke to the guys and said, "I can't stand this anymore, the guilt is too much, I'm going to kill myself" And did so, much to the annoyance of the guys. Another couple of years went by and again nature took its course, after a while Dave said to Brad, "I can't stand this anymore, the guilt is too much" "So what you gonna do?" inquired Dave. "I think I'll just bury her dude!"
A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery." The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?" "Just rub toilet paper between them." Startled the lady asks, "How does that make them bigger?" "I don't know, but it worked for your ass!"
A man settles down on a Sunday to read his paper. 5 minutes later his wife walks in and hits him across the back of the head. "What was that for?" he asked. "I was washing your jeans and checked the pockets and found this piece of paper with Anne Marie on it." "Who is it then?" she rants. The man thinks a moment. "It was my horse." he replied. "Sorry" says his wife and she goes away. The man settles down on a Sunday to read his paper. 5 minutes later his wife walks in a hits him across the back of the head with a frying pan! "What was that for" he says to his wife. "Your horse has called you on the phone!" she replies.
A chinese couple had just married. When they got to their hotel room both knew what was next. The woman quietly went into the bathroom and started undressing while the man undressed and lay naked under the covers. The women came out and bashfully got into bed with him and explain, "I have never done dees before." The man, not wanting to look unexperienced infront of his wife, said to her, "Eets ok. I give you any ting you want..." The woman replied with, "Well, I alway hear about numba sixty nine. I want to try dat." The man stared at his wife for a while before replying with, "You want chinkin and broccoli?"
Husband: If you cook well we can avoid our cook and save Rs.1000 per month. Wife: If you fuck well we can avoid our cook, driver, gardener, servant and save Rs.4000 per month!