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Funny Picture:

Confusion Looks Better Sideways
Confusion Looks Better Sideways
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Funny Joke:

What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common? Both have about a one in 3 million chance of becoming a human being!

Funny Sms Text:

For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Funny One-Liner:

I once dated a girl with a twin. People asked me how I could tell them apart. It was simple, Jill painted her nails purple and Bob had a cock.

Top 5 One-Liners:

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
I feel like I would enjoy getting out of bed more if I had to do it only three times a week. This every-day thing is overkill.
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
Love is like a machine... sometimes you need a good screw to fix it.
Apple should make a sarcasm font and call it the iRoll.