One Liners | 10 One Liners
Before marriage, men would wander parking lots aimlessly because they had no one to point out the open spots.
Love is like a machine... sometimes you need a good screw to fix it.
I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'. So I went - and I got it.
Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
My wife hired a fact checker for when we argue.
I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: Fear of long words.
They say people couldn't have everything because they don't have enough space to put it, I say 'everything' includes a bag with infinite space so I can put everything in easily.
I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone
Random One Liners:
So sorry I asked if your makeup was by Picasso.
Word of the day is Legs. Now go spread the word.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.
Actually, I don't think you're dyslexic; just really, really stupid.
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
When I see ads on TV with smiling, happy housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on.
Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.
What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head? A Space Invader.
Funny Jokes:Your Mama Is So Fat That She Uses The
There Was This Hunk At A Trade Fair Flashing His Big Muscles And Repeating Ten Tons Of Dynamite Ten Tons Of Dynamite While Eyeing The Females Around
One Day These Two Best Friends Jay And Bob Were Walking Down The Forset
Now That You Have Been Acquitted Will You Tell Me Truly Did You Steal The Car
What Do Reggae Bands And Virgins Have In Common
What's the tallest building in the city?
What Makes Five Pounds Of Fat Look Really Good?
How Can You Tell If A West Virginia Girl Is A Virgin
Yo Mama So Old She Was Best
A Boy Goes To The Drug Store With His Dad
A Blonde A Brunette And A Redhead Were Hanging Off A Cliff For Dear Life When The Brunette Said Im So Strong I Can Hang On And Do Pull-ups
How Do You Make Five Pounds Of Fat Look Sexy
A Lady Shows Up At Her Doctor's Appointment
You Might Be A Redneck If You Like To Brag You Learned To Fire A Shotgun
Yo Mama Is So Fat That She Got
CNN Late Breaking News
Wel What Have We Here
A Preacher Was On Fire One Sunday
What Kind Of Tricycle Does A Blonde Have?
Yo Mama So Fat I Can Stand On Her Belly