Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'. So I went - and I got it.
Before marriage, men would wander parking lots aimlessly because they had no one to point out the open spots.
They say people couldn't have everything because they don't have enough space to put it, I say 'everything' includes a bag with infinite space so I can put everything in easily.
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia: Fear of long words.
I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you.
Love is like a machine... sometimes you need a good screw to fix it.
My wife hired a fact checker for when we argue.
I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain.