Funny Work Quotes

Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living.

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

Interviewer: What do you make at your current job? Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments.

I'm not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing!

I don't like work--no man does--but I like what is in the work--the chance to find yourself. Your own reality--for yourself not for others--what no other man can ever know. They can only see the mere show, and never can tell what it really means.

The human race is a monotonous affair. Most people spend the greatest part of their time working in order to live, and what little freedom remains so fills them with fear that they seek out any and every means to be rid of it.

We often miss opportunity because it's dressed in overalls and looks like work.

There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it?

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.