Funny Work Quotes

If you trust in yourself... and believe in your dreams... and follow your star... you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy.

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn't know how awesome I was going to be today either.

I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run.

I’ve come to the conclusion that people who wear headphones while they walk, are much happier, more confident, and more beautiful individuals than someone making the solitary drudge to work without acknowledging their own interests and power.

If A equals success, then the formula is A = X + Y + Z. Where X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

If women are expected to do the same work as men, we must teach them the same things.

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.

Research has shown that laughing for two minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm sitting in the park laughing at all the joggers.